Anonymous asked: The scene of Stefan & Elena on 4x23 pisses me off so much. The way she's telling him that he's bad at being a vampire just to get rid of the cure (and possibly him) is so ooC. It's like "oh here take it stefan, i dont want it anymore cause i want to be a vampire, and kill people with damon." She had an opportunity and i think she didn't take it because she actually wanted to be a vampire with Damon. What do you think? Or did she actually care for Stefan's happiness, more than her own?
Ok…I’m in the mood to dig in. What I love about season four is how much they made Damon look like he was full of shit (this is going somewhere—I promise). And they made it happen just by the way he was written. I’ve talked about this numerous times and it never seems to get old. First with the cure. They made him look so bad. And it started in the first episode of that season when he’s arguing with Elena about all of her ‘choices lately.’ Clearly, he’s taking a jab at Elena’s choice to be with Stefan. I like that she tries to defend it by creating a hypothetical scenario in which Damon was at the bridge that night instead of Stefan. Because her point is to try and tell him why she didn’t choose to be with him and that’s what she uses. If Damon had been there he would have saved her first, in a heart beat, no questions asked. And that’s what Elena is trying to say. He’s too selfish. Matt would have died because he couldn’t let go. Well this is where Damon fights back.
If he had been there—Elena would have gotten to live, and have the normal life she always wanted. Well this is important because Damon also tells her that she knew he was selfish—as in she still had feelings for him knowing this. It’s his attempt at sort of trying to invalidate her reasons for not choosing him. Because it’s true in a way—-she did know he was selfish. This says something about Elena. But he is still manipulating her here. He’s trying to justify his hypothetical decision by making it sound as though it all would have been for her. But this is bullshit. It’s not entirely accurate. Damon’s choice would have been for Damon. However, it’s his selfish choice that would have given something to Elena, selfishly—like the human life she craved. And it’s that kind of dynamic that makes DE. And he really lays it on thick too. He understands that her humanity was important to her, and even understood it so much that he would have selfishly given it to her by letting Matt die. He’s so dramatic in making his point and selling to her that it would have been something for her.
But the rest of the season works hard to prove how full of shit he is. Not three or four episodes later, he’s no longer working to find this cure for Elena, but for Stefan because he’s ‘fine with her either way.’ Well—-good for you Damon. But it’s not about you. Bingo. Because that’s how Damon treats the cure for pretty much the remainder of the season. The cure that would have given Elena everything she wanted—-you know that thing Damon said he understood sooo well. But once it comes out that she’s sired to him—he’s now on board in finding this cure for Elena. But if anyone thinks it’s because Damon cares about Elena’s agency—wrong-o. It’s not about her anymore, remember? Damon craves acceptance, worthiness, love—validation. All those things are being threatened by the sire bond. He has no way of knowing whether her feelings are real and Damon had every reason in the world to question that, in my opinion. But that’s why he really wants the cure for Elena. Because he needs to know if these feelings are real. Fast forward some and his desire grows even more for the cure.
And that’s because Elena told him she loved him. At this point you might have to ask yourself if you’re the glass is half empty kind of person or if the glass is half full. Is Damon truly inspired by love to find the cure for Elena after her declaration or does it just up the anty for Damon in finding the truth because it’s no longer just feelings and sex but now love is involved. Sorry, but I’m going to have to go with the glass is half empty. I think his intense desire to get the cure for Elena and ‘protect Jeremy’ in that scene was because the situation was getting more serious and it’s now on a level that Damon’s always wanted—-Elena to love him. From this point forward, he begins to waffle even more. Now the insecurities are piling up. He’s getting it from Silas, Klaus, Katherine—-even Elena with her humanity off. All he’s hearing is how Elena will run back to Stefan when she’s cured, that there is no happy ending for him and Elena at the end of the rainbow, that everything was probably just a one night stand resulting from a sire bond. It’s getting to him. The insecurities which none of these people really had to plant. Suddenly he doesn’t want her cured. And it doesn’t matter that he’s saying it out of fear. He’s still saying it. To a sired Elena. It’s still about him. But the waffling doesn’t stop there.
Shortly afterwards, we hear him say that he wants to get the cure for the girl he loves. Later, he tells Stefan he ‘can’t think of one good reason to give it to Elena.’ Then he’s after it again when Elena is a ‘stone cold bitch’ without her humanity—-AKA Elena isn’t being nice to him. And even at the very end he stares at the cure and actually asks ‘What the hell do I do with this??’ IS THIS A JOKE??? See—-I mean….at this point you really have to be questioning something. You’re either questioning Damon or your questioning the fucking writing. And what’s even better is that Damon validates my ideas here in the final scene he has with Elena that season. He ends up reiterating the point to her that they wouldn’t work as a human/vampire relationship. He would rather die than only live a handful of years with her. Welp my friends. This is where it comes full circle and someone throws a grenade on this little party. Damon pretty much implies that what he said to her in the beginning of that season was bullshit and it really just throws everything into question about whatever intent/motivation he had with her while she was still human!!! We know this is how Damon feels. Damon who apparently understood how important Elena’s human life was, Damon who would have done anything to give it to her, even love her throughout her human life??? Yeah—-that’s pretty questionable right now.
Okay…with all that being said…let me get to what you were referring to in your ask. There are a couple of things I want to talk about in regards to that. One of them is, yet again, the cure. Upon learning that there was only one dose of the cure, Elena decides that she can’t take it when there are other people who deserve it just as much as she does. And she even holds onto this stance when Damon is trying to give it to her at the end. What I want to point out is that Elena ends up forsaking/dismissing that line of thinking once she sees it as a tool to save Damon’s life. There are actually a few things amiss here. The first is that obviously any thought she had about other people deserving the cure is just out the window in favor of Damon. The other thing is how impulsive Elena is in that decision. She’s pretty intent on shoving it down his throat in order to save his life. But there are two things she doesn’t consider. The first is what might happen to him—we find out later that there was a pretty big consequence in taking it. Elena doesn’t think about that. She also isn’t thinking about the fact that it makes Damon a human. She apparently disregards any of the conversation she and Damon had on the Island, previously. And she has no idea if it’s permanent—as in no chance for immortality for the recipient ever again. I’m pointing all these things out because you were entertaining the idea that Elena just wanted to have forever with Damon. Well—-I think Elena doesn’t think things through and is rather impulsive in her one track mind of keeping Damon alive. She also gets rather angry with Damon because he was willing to die over being human even if that meant being with her for a short time. It’s like she’s pissed that he wouldn’t do anything to be with her. I think that anything Elena may want/say/desire hangs in the balance in favor of what Damon wants/says/desires. which brings me to the other thing I wanted to bring up.
Notice that during the early stages of the sire bond, although Elena has changed, she still feels bad for hurting Stefan. She’s often times sorry. The one scene that comes to mind is 4x10 when she tells Stefan that she’s just really, really sorry. She’s sorry for all of it, she says. Now obviously we see that despite these feelings, it’s not enough to stop what’s happening to her. At the end of the episode she calls Damon to tell him she loves him. Some could argue that as bad as she feels for Stefan, she’s still going to choose Damon and what he wants or needs because he comes first due to the sire bond, perhaps. But that’s just how Elena feels. And of course that’s exactly what Damon wanted/needed to hear. This takes me once more back to their finale scene—Damon and Elena’s that is. When Damon makes his speech it does sort of sound like a ‘poor me’ spill. He’s lamenting over the truth. That he knows he was full of shit, that he doesn’t make choices that are truly the best for Elena, etc, etc…and my god re-watch that scene because Elena’s face. It’s like she’s thinking ‘Oh Damon…poor Damon. Not again. This is what you do—thinking you don’t deserve me…’ And I’ll be damned if we hear the opposite thinking from what she tells Stefan in 4x10. ‘I’m not sorry either. I’m not sorry that I met you. I’m not sorry that knowing you has made me question everything…’ Ya hear that?? She’s not sorry anymore. And really this is just a continuation of what Elena had been doing all of season four and practically all of season five. Prop Damon up. Pep talk him. Make him feel like he’s worthy, deserving, and yes…validated. And notice what she dismisses, ignores, sacrifices in order to do those things. Elena has a brain. And she’s even capable of making her own decisions. But she’s just a capable, and yes willing, to disregard any of it for Damon’s sake.
And that’s a big point. I think Elena doesn’t care about what she has to give up for Damon because she’s so happy with him. But it doesn’t mean she can’t make a nice gesture for someone. She wanted Katherine to find her humanity through the cure, but let’s Damon kill her without so much as a peep. She wants to help Jesse, but kills him to protect Damon without even trying to give Jesse a chance. She wants Bonnie back, but lets Damon choose her over Bonnie like he would all the time and does nothing to try and save her on her own. Or one of my favorites—-Aaron. She can actually empathize with Aaron because she knows how it feels to lose everyone she loves the way he has. But she’ll let the very man who destroyed Aaron’s life into her bedroom because his pain (a pain she can directly relate to) is not has important as Damon. Or her over-concern for Stefan is still about her own need to feel happy again. So, did she give Stefan the cure because she cares more about Stefan’s happiness than her own? See, that’s the thing. It’s kind of vague. We know that she still misses the idea of a human life, but she’s so happy with Damon and so in tune with his wants and needs that perhaps she didn’t care if she gave up the cure. We can certainly say that she wasn’t thinking of him above all else when it came to Damon dying and she wasn’t even thinking that Damon deserved it—just using it as a weapon to save him. All in all, I’d say she was making a truly great gesture to Stefan but upon reflection it may not have been one she saw as a sacrifice. This girl’s existence appears to begin and end with Damon. I think he’s the one she attributes her happiness to and I think that’s what she holds as the holy fucking grail.